How to have a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

1.Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Ask yourself why you didn't? Too often relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames their partner. Your life is SOLELY under your control, with your relationship you have to take the good with the bad. You need to give as well as take.

2.Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the difference between yourself and your partner. Don't expect he or she agrees with you on everything. Reach mutual agreement or plan, and then commit to it. If you say you're going to meet your partner for lunch at noon, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. If you agree to have a monogamous relationship, keep that agreement. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your partner, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety.

3.Use communication to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Most people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Okay, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having a healthy relationship means that you have your experience, and your partner has his or her experience, and you learn to love and share and learn from those experiences. If you can't reach any mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you is wrong or bad.

4.Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. A true relationship will consist of both partners who need to equally contribute. Not only is that the only type of relationship that will work out, but it will work out in both of your favor.

5.Tell the unarguable truth. Be truthful to yourself and your partner if you want true love. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their partner. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your partner never finds out about it. For any sort of relationship to work you need to have trust.

6.Forgive one another. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past and focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment, anger or resentment. Respect your partner, when your partner tells you to leave them alone, do give him or her the time and space.

7.Review your expectations. Try to be as clear as you can about any expectations - including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes, especially attitudes towards money. Everybody needs love, intimacy, affection, and affirmation.

8.Be Responsible. Here's a new definition: Responsible means that you have the ability to respond. Respond to the real problem, to your true needs. It does not mean you or your partner are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your partner, own up to it and say sorry. You'll be amazed how this works

9.Appreciate yourself and your partner. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your beloved that you love him or her, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.

10.Admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your partner to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your partner to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your partner to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your partner to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your partner.

11.Spend some quality time together. No matter how busy you two are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Play a sport, eat at a restaurant, watch your favorite movies together. You will feel the magic of love and connection that you have with each other.

12.Laugh. Not only is it true that laughter is the best medicine, but it's also true that laughter can make a great relationship. In a tedious relationship, it is hard to communicate with your partner and share humorous feelings. Not only does laughing bring you two closer, but it also makes you seem fun and approachable.

很有趣的10句～

第一句　　
如果我们之间有1000步的距离　　　　
你只要跨出第1步　　　　
我就会朝你的方向走其余的999步　　　　

第二句　　　　
通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人　　　　
才是真正爱你的人　　　　

第三句　　　　
付出真心　才会得到真心　　　　
却也可能伤得彻底　　　　
保持距离　就能保护自己　　　　
却也注定永远寂寞　　　　

第四句　　　　
有时候　不是对方不在乎你　　　　
而是你把对方看得太重　　　　

第五句　　　　
朋友就是把你看透了　
还能喜欢你的人　　　　

第六句　　　　
就算是believe　中间也藏了一个lie　　　　

第七句　　　　
真正的好朋友　　　　
并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题　　　　
而是在一起　就算不说话　　　　
也不会感到尴尬　　　　

第八句　　　　
没有一百分的另一半　　　　
只有五十分的两个人　　　　

第九句　　　　
为你的难过而快乐的　
是敌人　　　　
为你的快乐而快乐的　
是朋友　　　　
为你的难过而难过的　　　　
就是那些　该放进心里的人　　　　

第十句　　　　
冷漠　有时候并不是无情　　　　
只是一种避免被伤害的工具

+.+～ 莫生气 ~+.+

人 生 就 像 一 场 戏 ， 因 为 有 缘 才 相 聚 。
相 扶 到 老 不 容 易 ， 是 否 更 该 去 珍 惜 。
为 了 小 事 发 脾 气 ， 回 头 想 想 又 何 必 。
别 人 生 气 我 不 气 ， 气 出 病 来 无 人 替 。
我 若 气 死 谁 如 意 ， 况 且 伤 神 又 费 力 。
邻 居 亲 朋 不 要 比 ， 儿 孙 琐 事 由 他 去 。
吃 苦 享 乐 在 一 起 ， 神 仙 羡 慕 好 伴 侣 。

+.+ ~ 人生十大点 ～+.+

理由少一点，
肚量大一点,
做事多一点，
嘴巴甜一点,
脾气小一点，
行动快一点,
说话轻一点，
效率高一点,
微笑露一点，
脑筋活一点.

+.+ ~笑一笑，没烦恼～ +.+

一笑烦恼跑
二笑怒气消
三笑憾事了
四笑病魔逃
五笑永不老
六笑乐逍遥
时常开口笑
寿比南山高

+.+~ 人生十四最 ～+.+

人生最大的敌人是自己
人生最大的失败是自大
人生最大的无智是欺骗
人生最大的错误是自弃
人生最大的悲哀是嫉妒
人生最可佩服的是精进
人生最大的破产是绝望
人生最大的财富是健康
人生最大的债务是情债
人生最大的礼物是宽恕
人生最大的缺欠是悲智
人生最大的欣慰是布施
人生最可怜的性情是自卑
人生最大的罪过是自欺欺人

人生与爱情道理～

这全部都是文文给我的爱情道理～不知道他从哪里找出来的！！真讨厌！还骗了我说是他写的！ 扮有天分！

♣都说男人是花心的，女人是专一的。其实这句话是错的，男人可以对很多人说“我爱你”，但男人一辈子心里只会真正爱一个人。只有一个。

♣聪明地拍拖，傻傻的恋爱，笨笨地结婚，老实地生活。

♣某君酒醉, 误入女厕呕吐.恰逢一女正在小解, 某君听到怒曰：‘说了不喝, 怎么还倒酒？’女闻声急停,不料却憋出个屁来,君闻声大怒：‘谁他妈又开一瓶!

♣等待太久的终不是你东西，越早放手，越早看到幸福~

♣如果有个女人愿意做我的妻子，希望她看上的是我的钱而不是我这个人！

♣我只想静静的继续守护着由你给我的幸福，一直到我还剩那么最后一口气，我还是会这样做。。。也许这段路会比长满荆棘的路还难走，但只要站在我前面的人是你，再苦我也愿意。。。在我心里，没有人能取代你！。。。我爱你

♣你變得不再愛我了, 而我也開始變得愛哭了..

♣你无耻的样子很有我当年的神韵。

♣一个人吻你，你一定被人深爱；不少人吻你，你一定是个漂亮的小孩；非常多的人吻你，你会被口水淹死

♣爱情是最奇妙的东西，一点勉强不得，能培养的只是感情，不是爱情。

♣我向星星许了个愿。我并不是真的相信它，但是反正也是免费的，而且也没有证据证明它不灵。

♣走的最急的是最美的景色，伤的最深的是最真的感情.

♣朋友就是把你看透了，还能喜欢你的人。

♣爱情就像高手过招，谁先动心谁就输了！

♣宁愿你讨厌我最真的那面，也不要你爱上我伪装的那一面。

♣同志们：别炒股，风险太大了，还是做豆腐最安全！做硬了是豆腐干，做稀了是豆腐脑，做薄了是豆腐皮，做没了是豆浆，放臭了是臭豆腐！稳赚不亏呀

♣女人，不一定要长得漂亮，但一定要活得漂亮！

♣相信男人还不如相信一头猪，最起码你可以把猪卖了，但是男人会把你卖了

♣一段感情的坚持与放弃只在你的一念之间。。。没有必要太执着，更没有必要为爱销魂心碎，，，现时代的爱情已经失去了它原始的本质。。。所以爱情在我眼中是一堆屎。。。

♣能冲刷一切的除了眼泪，就是时间，以时间来推移感情，时间越长，冲突越淡，仿佛不断稀释的茶。

♣我愛的人不愛我, 我不愛的人卻愛我, 為何現實總是那麼殘酷的

♣与你的再次相逢，是意味着回到过去，还是一次爱情的考验？

♣男人要有钱，和谁都有缘。

♣我带着蜗牛去散步...它慢，我拉它，踢它想尽办法就是要它快...但它还是很慢！于是跟着它后头慢慢走...原来我以前步伐太快，错过了休息及关心身边的人与事，是蜗牛提醒了我...

♣女人先表现自己大方，男人就不敢小气

♣到底是男人不坏女人不爱，还是女人太傻非要去爱？

♣女人除了要留意丈夫的心，更要注意他的胃

♣就算是Believe，中间也藏了个Lie

♣笨笨男人+笨笨女人=结婚；笨笨男人+聪明女人=离婚；聪明男人+笨笨女人=婚外情；聪明男人+聪明女人=浪漫爱情；我们？

♣开始我没有想的会爱上你，那时，你对我是那样的温柔和热情，当我真的爱上你的时候你却对我这样冷漠，难道一开始你就在游戏？没关系，只要我不欺骗自己，任何人都不会伤害我

♣心变得颓废，笑也觉得累；人变的积极，哭也是甜蜜

♣忘记刻骨铭心的伤痛，忘记痛彻心扉的情感，那将是人的一生中最大的幸福。 爱过，痛过，拥有过，失去过，忘记过，这便是多彩的人生。

♣活在这个现实的世界,有时难免放弃一点尊严,说白了就是脸皮要厚！

♣不懂放弃，等于固执；不能坚持，等于放弃目标。最聪明的做法是：不该坚持的，必须放弃！

♣哭，并不代表我屈服；退一步，并不象征我认输； 放手，并不表示我放弃；微笑，并不意味我快乐!

♣喝酒不要超过六分醉，吃饭不要超过七分饱，爱一个人不要超过八分

♣一个人在最悲伤最失落的时候，往往会有异想不到的收获哦！